Monday, April 27, 2009
Well, to continue the story, we had our home study on April 8th with a social worker we will call Jim*. Jim came over and he wasn't that scary in person. He was a older man who has been doing home studies for over 30 years. He has worked for LDS Social Services, for the State, for attorneys and now that he is part retired he does this work with the University of Utah pretty much for fun! He spent an hour talking to both of us, going over how we met, how our marriage was, or finances (all stuff I expected). Then I took him on a tour of the house. He like our house which made me happy. It was funny because he walked into our second bedroom, which houses our TV and elliptical and said "So this will be the babies room?" and I got a HUGE smile on my face and said "YES!!" It was probably the best moment of this whole ordeal so far. I actually got to say out loud that I would be having a baby someday and this room is where I would keep it (kinda like your favorite toy at age 3 that you hide from all the other kids) He then talked to me alone and Mike alone. He asked me to describe my mom, my dad, their marriage (or lack there of these days), to describe Mike and finally to describe myself. I had to tell him who I was more like, my mom or my dad. That was a hard one for me. He asked Mike the same questions (alone). He brought us back together and told us he thought we were a very nice couple. His only real concern was Mike's lack of job (don't worry Jim, it is one of my biggest concerns too). He left us with a bit of homework and he was on his way after just over 2 hours. It was not that big of a deal, and I did not need to scrub the floors with ammonia like I did (he didn't even check under the cupboards or in the oven...oh well at least they are clean now) I stressed more than I needed to but hey when the fate of your future family lies in the hands of one single man you do everything you can to make that person happy. We even bought lunch and snacks and water bottles just in case. Boy we sure are crazy.
He did leave us with a bit of homework. Mike and I both needed to get a Criminal Background Check and a Child Abuse Background Review done. That was easy, just requesting a few forms. It makes me wonder why they don't make every person having a baby do this though. Some sweet children would be saved from a very yucky upbringing. Truthfully I was bitter for a bit that I had to have these extensive reviews and checks done one me, and any 15 year old who slips up can have a baby, but I guess I have learned a lot about myself through the process. It really made me do a lot of looking inside to see what I am really made of. The last part of our homework was a packet with questions we had to fill out. These questions were tough for me and took a few days to complete. Just so you can see a what I mean:
Anyway you look at it, the information is all in. We got a call on April 19 telling us that Jim had sent his final report up to the committee at the U. I called April on April 22, and she did in fact have it. The committee will have to review it and we will get a secondary acceptance letter (or rejection letter) from them in about a month. At that time we get to start making plans and setting dates for the procedures. What a crazy ride it has been, and yes, I am for sure stressing about that second letter. I know in my heart I have nothing to worry about, but that isn't stopping me just the same.
*Real names changed to protect the identity of the innocent :)
I still had to wait another 2 hours or so until Mike got home before I could open it. That was the hardest 2 hours to make it through. I ended up with a really clean house though, because it was the only way I could find to keep my mind occupied while I waited. When Mike got home we opened the letter:
Dear Nicole and Michael Montgomery
Through the generosity of anonymous donors, and after successful completion of a family study by a State licensed social worker, you will be able to be recipients of one cycle of IVF to be completed before the end of March 2010.
Monday I called April back and got the name and number of a social worker who would come to our house and complete a home study. A home study is where a social worker comes to your home, interview you and your spouse, inspect the home, and evaluate you as an individual and a couple. Pretty scary if you ask me. But, the social worker sounded really nice over the phone, and the interview date was set.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Mike managed to lose his job. He is working at 2 part time gigs right now, while he looks for a full time position. He has great potential with his travel business, and I see that taking off HUGE in the next few months. With him working so much I rarely get to see him. I might see him for a whole hour once in a while, so really the only time I see him anymore is Sunday. Luckily our car is in the shop getting new brakes today, so I got to see him while he took me to work and took me back to the shop to pick up the car. SCORE!!! Love him to bits, yes I do.